AyushSaran.com

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

 
And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?”

 
And Man said, “Super size them.” And Man gained pounds Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

 
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

 
And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

 
And God said, “Try my crispy fresh salad.”

 
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

 
And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

 
And God said, “I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them.”

 
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

 
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

 
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

 
And God said, “You’re running up the score, Devil.” And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

 
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

 
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, “It is good.”

 
And Man went into cardiac arrest.

 
And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasties, and stints . . . . .

 
And Satan created HMOs…

bought the domain name from godaddy for 8$ [got a $1 off coupon ]

hosted it on LCdesign with a basic package

setup a Joomla 1.0.9 installation manually , without using fantastico, just wanted to practice…….

started designing a theme, its still in progress and maybe in 2 weeks i will have the website up and running…..

not sure what im going to put on it, maybe some T-shirts , to play with a shopping cart…….

but check it out …..

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966): where are the credits?!

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1956): almost starring Bela Lugos

Anus Magillicutty (2003): the anti-movie that anti-matters

Gigli (2003): The end of Bennyfer

Monster A Go Go (1965): No continuity, incomprehensible non-ending

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): even the game was better

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964): martians kidnap Santa Claus

From Justin to Kelly (2003): From Theater To Video

An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1997): directed by Alan Smithee

Batman & Robin (1997): or how Batman became gay

read the full article with pictures and plot descriptions at 2Spare.com’s 10 Worst Movies Ever

Finally i picked a name for the dragon tattoo

Samyaza (also known as Shemyazaz, Semjaza, Shemyaza, Samyaza, Shemhazai, and Amezarak (Ethiopic corruption)) is a fallen angel of Hebrew and Christians tradition that ranked in the heavenly hierarchy as one of the Grigori (meaning “Watchers” in Greek).

The name ‘Shemyazaz’ means ‘infamous rebellion’, (the combination of ’shem’ [meaning ‘name’ or ‘fame’ {whether positive or negative}] + ‘azaz’ [which means ‘rebellion’ or ‘arrogance’ as a negative particle]).

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Decided to start making T-Shirts etc. again

just for a lil fun, im selling these ones, right now its just the first try, ill add more stuff later

heres the First Shirt from the first SET

Click previews for Hi-Res images………….. ill have a paypal order button soon, the shirts are going for $15 [S,M,L], & $20 for large sizes [XL+]

i read this and thought it was hilarious, does this guy hate them or what, ……….thought it deserved a share… enjoy!

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin have had their second child, a boy.

Moses Martin was born during the weekend in New York, Paltrow’s spokesman said. After the birth of the couple’s first child, Apple, the actress said she did not understand the fuss about her daughter’s name.

“I just thought it sounded so lovely and clean,” she said during an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show. “It conjured such a lovely picture for me - you know, apples are so sweet and they’re wholesome and it’s biblical - and I just thought it sounded so lovely and clean.”

Gwyneth Paltrow probably thinks that calling her kids things like Apple and Moses makes her individual and interesting. Let me tell you, it would take a bag of tricks the size of the Star Jones circa 2000 to make Gwenyth Paltrow even mildly interesting. I mean Coldplay are the only people less interesting than Gwyneth Paltrow and of course the bitch had to marry into even more bordem. Theres not much hope for Apple and Moses at this point. I’m sure they will become fiscal analysts and microbacteria investigators.

It’s like she wants her children to go through the same childhood bullying which she so obviously did. So they can be sour and pessimistic about life as well or some shit. Moses? Seriously? You just want your kid to have his legs broken don’t you she-devil!

She named her other kid after a fruit because it sounded “clean” and conjured a “lovely picture” for her!? Right. The name Titipolco conjurs a lovely picture for me but I wouldn’t call my kid that! Okay maybe I would but I mean Titipolco is a pretty great name. His friends could abbreviate it to titty, and he’d try and make people call him “Teepee” but everyone would love calling him titty too much so he’d be stuck with that for life. OMG that’d be so great. “Titty go to your room and think about what you’ve done!” or If I walk in on him watching porn “Titty! AGH, TITTIES! CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE”
gwyneth-paltrow.jpg
Sorry what was this story originally about? Seriously she’s so boring I can’t talk about her for longer than half a minute without just shutting down. Shes hot though, I bet she dosen’t shave her snatch

Events
# «We will bury you.»
Nikita Krushchev, Soviet Premier, predicting Soviet communism will win over U.S. capitalism, 1958.

# «Everything that can be invented has been invented.»
Charles H. Duell, an official at the US patent office, 1899.

# «I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.»
Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869.

# «Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.»
Irving Fisher, economics professor at Yale University, 1929.

# «If anything remains more or less unchanged, it will be the role of women.»
David Riesman, conservative American social scientist, 1967.

# «It will be gone by June.»
Variety, passing judgement on rock ‘n roll in 1955.

# «Democracy will be dead by 1950.»
John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

# «A short-lived satirical pulp.»
TIME, writing off Mad magazine in 1956.

# «And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam»
Newsweek, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.

# «Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.» -– British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774.

# «In all likelihood world inflation is over.»
International Monetary Fund Ceo, 1959.

# «This antitrust thing will blow over.»
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

# «Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop - because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.»
TIME, 1966, in one sentence writing off e-commerce long before anyone had ever heard of it.

# «They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-»
Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.

# «Our country has deliberately undertaken a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and far reaching in purpose.” -– Herbert Hoover, on Prohibition, 1928.

# «It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister.»
Margaret Thatcher, future Prime Minister, October 26th, 1969.

# «Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES.»
George Bush, 1988.

# «You will be home before the leaves have fallen from the trees.» -– Kaiser Wilhelm, to the German troops, August 1914.

# «This is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace for our time.» -– Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30th, 1938.

# «That virus is a pussycat.» -– Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988.

# «The case is a loser.» -– Johnnie Cochran, on soon-to-be client O.J.’s chances of winning, 1994.
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Anyone thats been in a local in bombay knows how brutal it can be

I came across the most hilarious blog about training to travel in the mumbai locals, a survival guide for noobs, and first time mumbai-darshan crowd…..

” The process of traveling successfully on a train in Mumbai (Bombay) is one that requires cunning, shrewdness, strategy, agility and a killer instinct. It is both a science and an art. The first step is to research your routes to know which train you need to take at what time to ensure you are on the ‘fast’ or are seated for most of the journey. Sometimes, you might need to travel in an opposite direction to that of your intended destination. The reason is that you will enjoy an empty train traveling against rush hour crowds to get to a station where you can resume the right direction of travel with a fighting chance at a seat or a comfortable place to stand.”

Read The Rest At : LazyRider - Training For The Train

Kinda reminds me of my first time on a local train, i felt all brave, i was in college and felt like i could totally do this by myself, all my friends travelled by train so it seemed like no big deal, if they could do it so could i, so i got on the train, had no idea what side my station was coming on, couldnt make it to the other side in time, by the time i got to the other side, it was the next station, and then i since i was near the door i just got swept out to sea with the horde at the wrong station!